Yume
by Quicksilver
Summary: Story 4 of 7 (Glimpses of a Fallen Star), but stands alone. Hotohori's reflections on his star brother.


Quicksilver's Quill Offers  
Yume  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
standard disclaimers  
  
And I dreamed.  
  
I don't dream, not often. I don't have time for it- Emperors are highly practical people after all. Running a Empire sort of requires that kind of mindset. But I had the strangest dream just now, and it disturbed me, disturbed me enough so that I am here, at the deadest hour of the night, penning my account.  
  
Earlier today, I felt a throbbing in my chest, on my collar bone, of all places. All I could think of was that something had happened to one of you- and from where the pain was generalized, it could only be you, Nuriko. About ten minutes later I had a dizzy spell and the world seemed to turn gray, just for an instant, and I thought- no, I KNEW, that you were now forever beyond my reach. I'm sure that you've died- call it the bond between us, the bond of brother stars.  
  
That bond has always been there, though I didn't realize what it was before you were revealed to be Nuriko rather then just Kourin. I've always known you've existed, somewhere in the world, and I took comfort in your presence. You were a few weeks older then me- of all the Seishi, we are the closest in age. I'm sure you remember hearing about the thunderstorms that heralded the birth of each of us. I certainly remember the thunderstorm that announced Chiriko's arrival into the world, even though I was all of four years old. It rained for seven days, weather so violent that it surely must be the wrath of the Gods. It wasn't- merely Suzako telling the world of a momentous event- the last of the constellations had been born, and soon, within the lifespan of the average man, the Suzako no Miko would appear and have all her wishes granted.  
  
But I am getting off the subject. I was talking about my dream, wasn't I? Considering your death -the word springs out from the paper, but I admit it here, on this account- it wasn't surprising that I dreamt of you. I feel your absence, and I am lonely. Somehow I believed that even if Miaka didn't love me (and I can be honest enough at this time to admit that she didn't), you would be there to keep me from being alone. I valued your companionship. Dreams are the mind's way of coping, sometimes replaying events that had happened previously, other times foretelling the future. But my dream tonight.... it was just so odd...  
  
It came to me in three distinct parts.  
  
The first part was a simple memory flashback. It was the day of my seventeenth birthday, and not coincidentally, the day I first met you. My citizens had gathered the most beautiful and talented woman of Konan together to enter my harem, and I sat upon my throne, a beautiful monument to male beauty.   
  
The women were led in one by one, and there must have been twenty all together. You were second to last, and by the time they brought you forward to introduce you , I admit to being rather bored by the whole proceedings. I wanted nothing to do with any of the beauties- I had already decided that my bride would be the Suzako no Miko herself and no one else.  
  
"Kourin!" the herald said, and you stepped forward.  
  
You were wearing a long purple gown accented by touches of red. You moved as delicately as the willow that I was later to learn was your sign, and you sank to the ground with profound grace. I wasn't overly impressed- all the women were equally attractive.   
  
No, it was what you did next that surprised me. Rather then keeping your eyes modestly on the ground or at least PRETENDING to, you boldly stared at my person. A slight smile danced across your lips and then you had the audacity to wink. You WINKED at the Emperor! I didn't even notice the last girl, I was so shocked. And that was how you entered my life. I didn't really see you again until you dug Miaka and Tamahome out of the collapsed gazebo, but I certainly knew you were around.   
  
You were always one to leave an impression.  
  
The next part of my dream was a much more recent memory. It was shortly after we failed to summon Suzako that it happened. This event was one of my fondest memories- for once, I wasn't heika-sama, but Hotohori, your brother at arms.   
  
It was finally getting into my thick skull that Miaka didn't love me- never would. I was sitting in my rooms sullenly, nursing a bottle of the finest sake the country had to offer. I was sulking, I admit, about not being able to accompany the rest of you on the next leg of the journey- being Emperor really sucks, don't ever let anyone tell you differently. There's so much stuff that you CAN'T do. So I am able to declare war if the mood strikes me- so what? I'd much rather be able to go out and have a night on the town without a dozen guards trailing after me- I'm very capable of protecting myself.  
  
The rest of the seishi were out venturing around the Festival of Stars. I would have gone, but there was no way I would be permitted to by my advisors. I'm often a prisoner in my own Palace.  
  
It was around two a.m. when you knocked on my door, and I knew it was you. Only the Seishi were permitted complete run of the Palace, and you were the only one who would be bouncing in at two a.m. as if it was the middle of the day. You gave me the I-have-a-secret-smile that you seemed to have perfected. "Hotohori-sama!" you said cheerfully. "Konban wa!"  
  
"Konban wa, Nuriko-san," I said softly, staring at the bottle, more then a little melancholy. "Shouldn't you be at the festival?" I asked.  
  
You shook your head playfully. "Just got back! I won the weight lifting prize!" you told me proudly.  
  
I glared at you, too tired and a touch too drunk to be diplomatic. "Some achievement. Defeating those who aren't as gifted by Suzako as you are," I said waspishly.  
  
Your eyes briefly reflected your hurt, but then you noticed the bottle I was liberally sampling from. "Nani?" you asked, picking it up and taking a quick swig of it. "That's good stuff!" you exclaimed.  
  
My reflexes were slightly off, so when I made an attempt to snatch the bottle back, you easily avoided it. "Give that back!"  
  
You shook your head. "It's not fair to be drunk by yourself."  
  
"Go get your own and leave me alone,"  
  
"One should never drink along. Besides, the stuff I could get wouldn't nearly be as good as this batch," you said. I watched in amazement as you downed the rest of the bottle in a few long swallows. You were such a small man that I would have wagered that it would knock you out.  
  
I was quite wrong. Two hours later, it was me who was ready to pass out beneath the table. True, I had had a headstart, but you quickly surpassed me, throwing back drink after drink like it was water. Tasuki had wandered in somewhere after your fourth glass and, ever eager to drink, had joined us.   
  
What's really annoying is that I can't remember most of the rest. Now and then memory flashes will return (usually at the most inconvenient time). I seem to remember singing, you attempting to teach Tasuki how to dance, and developing grandiose plans to help the Nyan Nyans rearrange Taiitsukun's face. You somehow managed to turn one of my periodic brooding sessions into something more special- a time of bonding that I will never forget- even if I can't remember half of it.  
  
The last part of my dream, though, is really what confused me and led me to write this down. Unlike the earlier two scenes, it wasn't a memory. I'm not sure what to make of it.  
  
We were standing in my quarters, in the bedroom that only I was allowed to enter. You'd been there once before when you and Tamahome had come to take Miaka. However, there was no sign of either of them.  
  
You were dressed like a women again, and with trembling hands, I reached out and pulled out a few of the pins that kept your hair up in one of the elaborate hairstyles favored by the courtly ladies. Your long hair went cascading down to your waist, and I smiled down into your eyes. Your eyes were different, though. More innocent, maybe, and shyer.  
  
Then you stepped into my arms and I held you tightly, inhaling the fragrant scent of your hair. It wasn't the cloves I normally associated with you, but rather a more floral fragrance that hinted at delicacy. Finally I caught your chin and tilted it up, kissing you soundly. Your kisses were the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. It never even crossed my mind that we were both men.  
  
Finally I grasped the top of your gown and pulled it down, eager for the touch of your skin against mine. To my vast surprise, though I wasn't surprised while actually in the dream, I encountered undeniable evidence that you were a female. I bent over and nibbled on your neck, whispering your name, though it wasn't your name- not Ryuuen, not Nuriko, not Kourin. "Houki," I said softly.  
  
The rest of the dream makes me blush to remember. I won't tell you about it, but for some reason, the dream sticks with me still, and I feel an ounce of... prescience. Will you come to me in another form, I wonder? Knowing you, Nuriko, I wouldn't be surprised. If there's one thing I've come to expect about you it's this: not to expect anything. You haven't won my heart the way you wanted to yet, so I'm sure that somehow, someday, I will see you again. You're not going to let a little thing like death stop you. You're stubborn that way.  
  
I know it doesn't really mean much now, but I wanted to tell you something. If I was capable of loving a man in a romantic fashion, I can say, with complete conviction, that the man would have been you, Nuriko.  
  
yume: dream  
Nuriko and Hotohori are both eighteen- Nuriko was born in March, while Hotohori was born in April. I'm not positive, but I think their birthdays are the closest of all the Suzako seishi- the exception might be Tasuki and Tamahome  
Nuriko's drinking ability is hinted at- the famous "Nuriko special"  
Now be nice and give FEEDBACK!  
Next Up: Chichiri 


End file.
